You Need a Kevin Costner (Relationship #7)

In 1992, Kevin Costner starred with Whitney Houston in the romantic thriller The Bodyguard. Costner plays a former CIA agent who is hired to protect the entertainer.

Of course, Sweet doesn't argue for a Costner in your life, but someone very similar is important. Sweet's example is that of Deborah. Deborah watches the back of General Barak (See Judges 4-5).

Sweet points out that anyone "on mission for good and God, will be the first to be fired on by enemies and by friends. It doesn't matter how good you are; you're going to get criticism, and it usually comes via the back door. If you recall, it was the religious establishment that told Jesus his healing was the work of the Devil" (p 136-137).

How many people have become homebodies on corporate worship days claiming they're tired of being "stabbed in the back"? My experience: too many! If Satan can cause a division in what God is attempting to do through a local body of believers, he's won the battle. And sadly, because too many of us don't have Deborahs or Costners in our lives, the knife causes major damage.

When you consider the importance of a bodyguard for anyone, how much more important is it for those who shepherd a local church? Sweet argues, "In the Bible, Deborah covered Barak's back so he could fight (the enemies); unfortunately, Deborahs today often cover your back so you can fend off the armies of the churches" (p 139).

There are times where a bodyguard fights alongside you. There are other times where they're elsewhere in the battle. Costners and Deborahs have an uncanny ability to sense where the next agression will come.

Everyone of us needs a bodyguard - one who is not afraid of the battle and will fight to the death defending us. Who guards your back? Who's back are you watching? Is it time to find a Costner? time to be a Deborah?

I Need Someone! Relationship #6

Sweet's invitation for a Peter/Paul (mentor/coach) is number six in his book and our review. It's interesting that the next message at our church (a series scheduled months ago) just happens to be about community. In other words, try as we may to live our lives in an individualistic way, it's impossible to live up to our capabilities without someone mentoring us, coaching us, or as Sweet maintains "is our Yoda."

To be honest, this is one relationship in which I've really struggled throughout life. Finding a mentor/coach for spiritual things is tough - really tough! Again, it takes time, a tremendous effort, and sacrificial giving from both persons.

Just a few years prior to his death, my spiritual mentor would have been my Father. Although we didn't get along while I was growing up (too much alike I guess), I came to realize he possessed some great spiritual characteristics. Since his death, my Yoda has been uh...shall I say non-existent.

Please don't get me wrong, I've looked up to friends, profs, and people of faith. But to have a mentor, a coach, a yoda that could help me be that person God would want me to be, it just hasn't happened. You see, I think of a mentor as being one who knows your "ins and outs", your strengths and weaknesses, and still loves you. Much like your "Barnabas," your Peter/Paul encourages but is also willing to look you in the face and say, "You're wrong man! This is what I've learned. etc." I believe those relationships to be few and far between for many. It's even tougher for someone in ministry. Most laypersons are for some reason intimidated by spiritual disscussion with a minister.

I'm looking for a Yoda. I really need a Peter or a Paul. I sincerely want to be the person Christ has destined for me. That won't happen without this important relationship.

How about you? Are you a spiritual mentor for someone? Are you being mentored? Honestly?

Friday Fodder

John the Baptist states, "He (Jesus) must increase, but I must decrease"
(John 3:30 NRSV).

John sounds extremely humble. I can't count how many times in my life I've prayed the same. "Lord take me out of the way...God remove me...Not my will, but yours"

I deeply want to be a person of humility. I want to have the same attitude of Christ (consider Phil. 2). But deep down in my flesh, I enjoy recognition. There are times that I like being seen. I can almost rationalize being known by others.

The Apostle Paul said, "Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ"
(1 Cor. 11:1 NRSV). It's as if he's asking for the limelight with humility.
Herein lies the "rub".

Believing that we were created to glorify God in every aspect of life, what's the balance between humility and recognition?

Barnabas (Relationship # 5)

Everyone needs encouragement from time to time. When times get tough, when the challenges appear to be insurmountable, when everyone else has given up on you, that's when your Barnabas shines.

A Barnabas seems to show up at the right time, say the right things, and help in the right way. He or she is one of our biggest cheerleaders. Most people focus on our faults. But our Barnabas always sees our strengths, while knowing we're not perfect.

My recent move in ministry caused me to leave behind a dear lady - a Barnabas. She always had something encouraging to say. When times were challenging, she reminded me of those things being temporal. She took time out of her life to make a phone call, to write a note, to remember special anniversaries, to encourage. Although I've had many people in my life be a Barnabas, she takes the cake for encouragement.

It's interesting that her life wasn't trouble free. On the contrary, it was filled with challenges in losing loved ones, aches and pains, and other hurdles life sent. In spite of all the challenges, she was known for "Oh boy, oh boy, let's talk about joy!" Sure it was a little corny but the statement describes her life.

We all need a Barnabas in life. For me, that's Gladys Mott. Thanks Barnabas!

Should I or Shouldn't I?

I struggled with whether to post this morning or not. Yesterday, the discussion was on the relationship of a protege or a Timothy. However, near the end of the chapter, Sweet speaks of creativity and left-brained activity more than an indispensible relationship. It's as if he's allowed his focus to become the emerging movement, rather than relationships. Here's the main reason I struggle.

I'm really enjoying the book. And several of you have said you'll read the book at a later time. That said, I think it's important that you understand this stuff is in there as well. I don't intend, nor am I qualified, to give an extensive book review (other than to say I've enjoyed it). I have nothing against the emerging movement. In fact, I appreciate many of their core beliefs. But to discuss the creativity of IKEA, the imagination of a Xbox 360, etc. is better left for another book. Let's get on with the indispensible relationships.

A Protege (Relationship #4)

If you'd anticipated young Timothy among the relationships Sweet says is essential, you'd have been right. Relationship #4 is that of a protege. Sweet begins with a quote from one of his own mentors. "A healthy sycamore tree is a tree with heirs...a sycamore community with trees in various stages of growth and development...Always look for a trees successors before you judge its health and vitality." (p 79)

A Timothy is one who follows in the footsteps of those who have gone before. Jesus gives us a mission of making disciples. It's pretty clear that the church is to replicate itself. And leaders in the church should also replicate themseleves, their gifts, and their knowledge, for the common good of the Church. Sadly, this rarely happens. In fact, Sweet maintains "...most Timothys want to be clones, not heirs" (82). I would add that many churches want clones of their leaders, rather than heirs for future generations.

Timothys should be allowed to take a song that once worked and create a guitar riff, add a drum roll, or create space for a saxaphone solo. It's a song they learned from mentors. But because of the modifications, it becomes their song. How many times do we hear in the church, "But we've never done it THAT way"? I would say we've heard it much more than once or twice.

A Timothy knows how important it is to listen. Jesus says over and over again, "Let those with ears hear." Having an ear drum vibrate doesn't always equate to hearing. Not everyone can be a Timothy. A Timothy has healthy ears.

It's important to note that to have a Timothy - to leave your legacy to another - is to recognize you've been a Timothy yourself.

What are your thoughts on the Protege relationship? Is their someone you've taken the baton from? Someone you're influencing so that eventually you'll be able to pass the baton to them?

Someone to Kick My Butt (Relationship #3)

"If you want a life of peace and quiet, then don't follow Jesus." Sweet, 62

Jethro kicked Moses out of his comfort zone and got him on track to follow God's mission. A vital relationship in my life is a Jethro. My Jethro sees the potential in me and is unwilling to allow me to just "coast" through life. As Sweet would say, "He's my spiritual butt-kicker."

Recently, our local church has been challenged about being intentional in excellence. If Christ gave all, why should we be satisfied with mediocrity, with half-hearted spirituality, with "just going through the motions"?

In our individual lives, we face the same temptations. A Jethro observes potential and then pushes, prods, encourages, or even kicks, for the purpose of helping me be the person God intended. A Jethro knows my spiritual goals, and wants to help me get there. Jethro is not so concerned about flattery as he/she is about growth.

Who is your Jethro? Sadly, many of us aren't so intentional about our spiritual growth that we have a Jethro. Now may be the time for you to find someone who cares enough about you and your future to be your spiritual butt-kicker.

I don't think I'm so different than most. I'm hard-headed, at times prideful, and pretty comfortable with individuality - especially when it comes to something as important as spiritual growth. That's why being intentional about a Jethro is so important.