It's been a few days since the last post. Let me explain why.
Scene: A large room, obviously intended for a public gathering. You notice 10-12 chairs in a circle near the middle of the room. The people standing near the chairs are dressed in everything from shorts and sandals to business suits. There are hispanics, whites, and african americans. All in all, the group seems to be pretty diverse. Some are talking to their neighbors. Others seem to be uncomfortable and almost reclusive.
At one point, someone asks for the session to begin and the participants take their seats. The leader begins with her own introduction and each participant follows in succession. Your mind's "eye" takes you to one of the last participants to introduce himself. You notice he looks alot like Mike Crow. After a closer look, you realize it is in fact someone whose blog you observe from time to time.
"Good evening everyone. My name is Mike Crow and I'm a LOSER. I've fallen off of the wagon again." The rest of the group shows signs of empathy and collectively responds, "Welcome Mike."
The leader directs her attention to me and asks, "You mention the wagon Mike. Tell us exactly what you mean."
"I've had several major decisions to make lately - for my family and for me personally. My family is preparing for my daughter's graduation. She's excited about the graduation, but anxious about what's next. We all are. My twelve year old is excited about attending a summer camp for three weeks. She's attended the camp before, but only for a week at a time. I know it will be good for her. But I'm not sure I'm as excited as she. School has just ended. Studying for sermons and Bible studies, doing ministry, and trying to complete major projects near the end of the semester has been overwhelming. I haven't done my best work. I turned the last project in late. I struggled more than ever on that paper. For the last few weeks, I haven't exercised regularly or eaten right. I'm to the point where I'm tired. A better word is weary. I need a drink. I'm thirsty. My lips are so dry they're cracked and bleeding. I think about the Samaritan woman at the well and I understand a little of where she was. Man, I really need Jesus to show up now! I don't think I can get back up. I'm trusting on Him to pick me up and place me back on the 'wagon'."
So folks, that's where I'm at. I heard a familiar song today. The David Crowder Band sings, "He'll never let go. He'll never let go. He'll never let go." That's what I need to hear. It's what we call a "God thing" and "God timing."
I think about God's grace and I think He's trying to teach me that I can't but He can. I'm such a slow learner. I'm ready to celebrate recovery.
wrestling with God no less
4 hours ago